I am the worst flirt ever. I liked a guy in high school and later learned that he thought I hated him. I was so surprised he couldn't tell I was interested, I don’t actively run away from just anyone.
Needless to say, I am no love expert. But even I know some things you should avoid when trying to impress your crush. Here's a guide to talk to your crush, without looking creepy.
Step 1 | Capture attention
DO: Make eye contact, smile, or wink if you’re bold.
I tried it with mixed results. Apparently my eye twitched like I was wearing contacts for the first time but it drew enough attention that the guy asked if I was okay. I’d call that a win.
DON’T: Make them reconsider their mom’s offer to buy them pepper spray.
I once walked down the street when a guy followed me, whispering “sexy, sexy, sexy” for 2 blocks. I ended up running away, upset I had to do unwanted cardio to get away from a Creeper.
Step 2 | Introduce yourself
DO: Say hello and ask their name.
I can’t help you with this one; I awkwardly introduce myself to anyone in my age range because I never know if I should do a formal handshake or take the “I’m not cool but I guess I’ll nod” route.'
DON’T: Kiss their hand when introducing yourself.
This isn’t the 17th century. She’ll spend 10 minutes wondering if “thanks” was the right response. If you’re the guy who kissed my hand, sorry. It was nice to meet you but next time, stick with a high-five, nod, or even a thumbs-up…anything that doesn’t involve a mouth on a hand.
Step 03 | Make conversation
DO: Go with the flow.
I’m the worst conversationalist. I say whatever pops into my brain without much/any thought to how it sounds. However, I notice if people want to escape the conversation and adjust accordingly.
Example: if your eyes glaze over when I mention the phonetic alphabet, I won’t torture you by reciting all 25 corresponding words for you. I’ll save my talent for someone who cares.
DON’T: Let it slip that you’ve stalked them,
know the name of their uncle’s new wife and what she does for a living. Be eager, not over-eager. It doesn’t matter if you want to ask how their grandma’s Caribbean cruise went. Swallow the curiosity and save that question for never.
In no way am I trying to convince you to not be forward. Live your life. Speak your mind. Go after your crush.
But please, do it without sending thirty unanswered texts.